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smile for weekend

on Fri Sep 15, 2017 5:09 pm
A couple of old guys were golfing when one mentioned that he was going to go to Dr. Steinberg for a new set of dentures the next morning.

His elderly buddy remarked that he, too, had gone to the very same dentist two years before.

"Is that so?" asked the first old guy. "Did he do a good job?"

The second oldster replied, "Well, I was on the golf course yesterday when a guy on the next fairway hooked a shot. The ball must have been going at least 180 mph when it slammed me right in the testicles."

The first old guy was confused and asked, "What the hell does that have to do with your dentures?"

"It was the first time in two years my teeth didn't hurt."

vfc
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Re: smile for weekend

on Fri Sep 15, 2017 5:25 pm
Ouch ....

My little boy threw a ball at me on holiday, and in front of my and my wifes family, straight in the Gin-gan-gooooolies ....

That brought a tear to my eye - I had to walk (hobble) off.
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Re: smile for weekend

on Fri Sep 15, 2017 5:34 pm
Nothing like getting whacked in the wotsits to make everything else feel better
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Re: smile for weekend

on Fri Sep 15, 2017 6:20 pm
There is an old question about whether childbirth for a lady is more painful than being kicked in the balls for a man...

You have heard about women saying months later that they would like to have another baby in the future...

Ever heard of a man saying he would like another kick in the goolies?

VFC

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Re: smile for weekend

on Sat Sep 16, 2017 9:57 am
Razz Laughing
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Re: smile for weekend

on Mon Sep 18, 2017 1:53 am
Seeing as how I have never shat out a baby, I can't say how painful it is or isn't!

However, I can, with GREAT authority, tell you all, that being slammed earthward (or in my case, tar wards) with the weight of two metric tonnes and having all but your shoulder repaired, hurts like a traffic warden, a father-less child or Teresa May taking away money from those who need it most (I can also testify to THAT with equal authority).

There are days, and I will be honest, that I hoped & begged to not wake when I finally did nod off. The nightmares are pretty bad, but they only scare you for a bit. It's the unrelenting agony that never ever ever ever ever stops! I am certain one of our more senior members can agree.

I am on super strong painkillers (Cocodamol 30/500mg) 2x every 4hrs as well as Gabapentin 300mg 3x daily for nerve pain. And I watch the clock like some feckin junkie until 4hrs are up so I can take them to ease the agony. Women got it easy, child birth takes anything from a few moments to a day or two, but the chickens get a needle into the spinal chord to ease their pain. I have to take the above and if I want a sleep, I have to wash them down with Gin, Whisky, Vodka or even wine JUST to be sure of a minimum of an hour to 90 minutes uninterrupted sleep.

I simply cannot wait to get the results of the MRI and find what is in fact wrong (like I don''t know...hospital ineptitude) so I can get an idea as to when they will fix it. According to my new physio, scar tissue which will require being sliced open to remove it so they can leave MORE scar tissue, but in a less intrusive fashion!

On a lighter note, What is the smallest organ in a Donkey's body?

A muslims cock lol!
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Re: smile for weekend

on Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:40 pm
Andi,

I feel for you Pal...hang in - it gets better eventually. I was on the Cocodamol 500/30 - the 400 Premium strength Ibuprofen - the Tramadol 50mg - every two/four hours for months before my operation - I know you can't take Tramadol.

Last month I got another lung infection - took a standby course of Clarithromycin - no joy - saw the COPD nurse - she gave me a replacement Clarythro- I gave a sputum sample - Doc called - you need Co-amoxiclav for you infections - no joy -  he gave me a second course of Co-Amox AND a 5 day Prednisolone  steroid course - I was driving friends too Southampton in their car so was scared to start the steroids until later...visited COPD Hospital Clinic Friday - Nurse tells me I have two infections Haemophilus Influenzae and Pneumonia - gave me a "wind down" supply to leave the steroids gradually over 10 days - and a sputum sample handed in this morning.

Doc phoned me at noon today - what he now knows is that what I need is a ten day course of Ciprofloxacin - just taken my 1st dose and having a glass of Pinot Grigio - feck the consequenses!

The steroids are scary - I felt spaced out yesterday and drove very carefully to collect Mary from train station - after having been hypo - cleaned carpets- did an ironing - washed a floor - eating like a pig...

But the haemoptysis has reduced - no coughing up blood for  two days now  - in Hospital on Friday morning the Nurse asked how I was doing - I told her that there were hundreds of people in her Hospital that would swop what I have for what they have.

Onwards and upwards - this too will pass!

VFC

PS - In Wales is it sheep and Welshmen?


Last edited by vanfancooler on Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:42 pm; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Post script)
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Re: smile for weekend

on Mon Sep 18, 2017 5:54 pm
We should get the others to start a go fund me post on here, we need a holiday mate Very Happy

As for not taking booze when on antibiotics was for those with problems of the binky and flower (ok, cock & fanny) through unprotected intercourse. So, the chance they would get drunk and do the same thing & bring the infection back....

In other words, you enjoy a wine mate Razz
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Re: smile for weekend

on Tue Sep 19, 2017 2:02 pm
Andi,

Just a thought - have you tried Amitryptyline for sleep patterns improved? I am on a long painful 2 year dental treatment and due to the COPD cannot take anaesthetics - Ami helps taken night before - I am told it is not addictive but I would be careful with it...

VFC
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Re: smile for weekend

on Wed Sep 20, 2017 10:34 am
Tried it mate, turned me into a zombie without an apocalypse clown

Am on gabapentin instead... But the pain is like a tree root, it has got through the cracks Mad
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